Jordan Evans

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Jordan Evans

Post by Sora on Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:44 pm

World: PRIME
Name: Jordan Evans
Age: 15
Position: Student of Tachibana Academy, entering 10th grade
Appearance: Jordan stands at 5'5". He has a slim build, with slightly-paler-than-average skin and green eyes. His brown hair is longer than usual and, though not exceedingly messy, also not very well-kept. It's mostly straight, but curls a little at the ends.
He prefers long clothes (full pants and long-sleeved shirts) over lighter things, and so will sometimes wear clothes that are warmer than would be appropriate for the weather. Though he'll wear a t-shirt in warmer weather, he rarely wears shorts and very rarely wears a tank-top.

I'll probably draw a new picture eventually, but I think my avatar from the old forum is still pretty fitting; maybe the hair is just a little too messy here?:


Backstory:
Spoiler'd for convenience:
Though Jordan's dad is hearing, his mom is deaf. Thusly, when Jordan was born, one of the parents' first concerns was whether or not he could hear. It was eventually found that he was mute and unresponsive to sound, confirming that he had inherited his mom's condition. It couldn't really be mended, either; easily affordable cochlear implants didn't work very well, and the ones that did, well, weren't easily affordable. Speech therapy wasn't a great option either, as the method's failure was proportional to the patient's deafness. Jordan's deafness - a profound one - was unlikely to allow speech therapy much success. The parents didn't see this as much of a problem, though; Jordan's mom, being deaf, knew full well how to live life without sound, and his dad had been married to a deaf woman long enough that it would be nothing new to deal with.

The only real problem was how Jordan would be educated. It was decided that it would be best to homeschool him, but when discussing this both his parents knew that it was, though a fairly long-lasting option, a temporary one. Eventually Jordan's requirements would exceed his parents' capabilities, and they'd need another option. Up until Jordan was 11, however, the only option they knew was homeschooling, and so that's what they went with. This meant that he interacted with people less often, which compounded on top of it already being a little inconvenient to talk with hearing people. Both of these, along with one more factor I'll cover, have contributed to Jordan's not-especially-social personality.
His Mom was Jordan's main teacher, as his dad was often away working. He was usually home by the evening, but that certainly wasn't early enough to keep Jordan educated. He would help now and then on his days off, but as Jordan spent more time with his mom than his dad, Jordan grew closer to her over time than he did his dad. This was added to by the condition he shared with his mom. His dad was experienced in dealing with it due to his choice in marriage, but his mom, of course, experienced the issue first hand, and so was who Jordan chose to talk to about the deafness when it came up. At a younger age, he would occasionally ask his dad to describe sound and music to him, but he quickly learned that his dad couldn't give a clear answer.

As he wouldn't be meeting people at school much, Jordan's parents made an effort to take him out now and then. He was often brought to the local park when he was younger so he could play outside and maybe eventually find a friend in one of the other kids that happened to be there. Jordan had developed a habit of bringing a notepad wherever he went in his pocket so he could talk with people that didn't know sign. He'd occasionally try talking with other kids this way, introducing himself through writing and asking if whoever he was "talking" to would like to write with him.

This worked with varying degrees of success. Some would respond in speech with such questions as "Why can't you hear?" and not really understand that they should write it out. Some would engage in a short conversation and that would be that. It was when Jordan was 8 that he found someone who conversed for longer than usual. The 9-year-old Henry expressed a sort of childish fascination regarding Jordan's deafness. The conversation ended with Jordan asking "will you be here tomorrow?" Henry responded "yes," not really considering the possibility that his parents would say otherwise.
They met the next day despite this, at the same park. It was the first time Jordan had gotten to talk with someone after an initial conversation. Their meetings became more regular. Jordan's and Henry's parents would talk while their children were at the park and later Jordan would ask if he could visit Henry, or if Henry could visit him and hanging out became more common. Jordan had found his first friend, despite the solitude that homeschooling and deafness threatened to bring.
Henry went on to be Jordan's only friend. As they grew and Henry made friends, friends who were old enough to be a bit more judgmental or pitying of disabilities such as Jordan's, Henry stayed his only friend. Though Jordan would hang out with Henry and all of his friends now and then, Henry's friends never made any effort to become any closer with Jordan, nor did he make much effort to become any closer with them. Jordan never assumed this meant anything; he was never all that social anyway.

It was when Jordan was 13 that he noticed that Henry and himself had gradually been hanging out less and less often. Jordan texted his friend about this, and Henry denied it and any meaning it could have, and they hung out regularly again for a short time. When said short time expired, and Jordan found them gradually drifting apart yet again, he texted Henry about it a second time. Henry didn't dodge anything this time; he explained honestly how his friends had influenced this.
Henry has no problem with Jordan's deafness. He learned to deal with it before he learned to judge him for it. Henry's friends were not quite the same. Whenever they all hung out as a group, any sort of fluent and fun conversation was thwarted by Jordan's sheer presence. Henry had to write down everything the group said (as he had never learned to sign) for Jordan, and wait for Jordan to write out anything he wanted to say to the group. Henry's friends felt it was a slow process that killed the pace of the conversation and most of its enjoyment.
This was, though to a rather limited extent, understandable to Jordan. Less so was how Henry talked about it. He didn't seem at all angry about his friends' intolerance. He phrased it like it was to be expected, and acted as if Jordan was blind to not have known this already. Henry seemed to think nothing of saying that they could hang out alone, but not with his friends. Jordan interpreted it in a more serious manner, and doubted that Henry was really so true a friend as he thought. They ceased spending time together. Jordan would try to talk to him again a couple times afterward, but both times found the attempted friendship to be strained and uncomfortable, and would lack the drive to try any further to get together.

The earlier mentioned age was 11, as this was how old Jordan was when his mom found Tachibana Academy. After deciding it was a good option for him to attend there eventually, Jordan's parents began slowly saving money for him to attend. They were well-enough off that they could probably get away with him attending without saving that far in advance, but not that easily. Better safe than sorry. Jordan continued being homeschooled for as long as his parents were able, but four years later, Jordan's parents talked to him about living apart from them, as Toronto was too far away for Jordan to continue living in his home in his small town further northeast in central Ontario. He'd be living more independently than he was used to, but on the upside he'd be at a school in which he could meet other people and gain the opportunity to make a friend or two.

Jordan has come to the school with a mix of nervousness about living apart from his parents, skepticism about meeting people who might be as painful to know as another person he'd dealt with, and excitement at the chance of meeting someone who wouldn't be so troublesome.

Personality: (I've put general habits and things here as well, since I don't know how to fit it all into the backstory.)
He often wears a rather blank face, simply out of habit. As this isn't a result of him trying to hide his emotions or anything, said emotions can show through now and then.
As a result of lacking communication with most people, being homeschooled, losing the one friend he'd made, and simply having the personality that he does, Jordan is not very social. He won't usually go out of his way to talk with people, though it can happen from time to time. A combined result of both his rather sparse communication with others and his own personality cause him to also be rather ignorant of social cues. He may miss sarcasm or implied messages, and may fail to consider possible meanings behind what he or others say beyond their literal ones.
Due to his less-than-social nature, Jordan is often in his own head, thinking to himself about whatever passing interest. He doesn't usually appear very attentive, which may come to earn him an occasional scolding in class. He is fairly intelligent despite this, and so is likely to do well at the times he decides to pay more attention.
Should he need to communicate with someone who doesn't know sign, he always keeps a notepad and pen in his left pocket. He's a fairly fast and neat writer, since he's gotten used to writing to talk with people, and has developed a habit of keeping these written conversations rather than discarding them.

Due to not communicating with people outside of his family much, Jordan developed likings mostly for activities that he could carry out on his own. His casual doodling eventually evolved into a request for a sketchbook, which was gradually filled with harder-worked-on doodles and drawings with actual time put into them. It's not a huge interest of his, but he's better at drawing than many. Another such lone activity was gaming. His dad liked to play on the Playstation, and Jordan would watch and, when his dad was away, play on said Playstation for himself. Said Playstation was good for entertainment when Henry visited as well, when he and Jordan were friends. He was eventually given a laptop of his own, through which he discovered PC games. This started with free games but, as with drawing, the interest developed enough that he eventually convinced his parents to buy games or get them as gifts and such. He can use a computer fairly easily and has come to take more interest in PC gaming than in console gaming.
As drawing and video games can't always pass his whole day on their own, he may occasionally simply wander to see where he may take himself, in times of boredom.


Last edited by Sora on Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:53 am; edited 2 times in total
avatar
Sora
Member
Member

Posts : 89
Points : 75
Join date : 2015-08-12
Age : 18
Location : Wisconsin

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jordan Evans

Post by TheMootking on Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:36 pm

Good profille, I like the changes you've made to Sora a lot. There's a couple of problems, though.

1. Outside of being a social pariah, what are his hobbies? Need to flesh out his life outside his disability a little bit. Just a paragraph or two about hobbies etc would be grand. This is a common problem with profiles, while disabilities affect a life drastically, there is a life beyond coping with them.

2. After he started attending mainstream school at 11, how was he treated by the general populace? You mentioned that his parents were gonna homeschool him until then, but never expanded on it. A little exposition about this would go a long way! It could also help you develop his social problems/heal them a little.

3. Did his parents ever consider cochlear implants, or speech therapy? In the modern age both are easily accessible and can improve the life of somebody like Jordan tenfold. While both can get quite expensive if done privately, there is a lot of support available worldwide.

4. No real mention of his relationship with his parents - while it can seem unimportant it can really effect how he handled his disability if he had somebody to "speak" to about it. It seems a shame to waste a figure that has both the caring qualities of a parent as well as a "we're in the same boat" feeling.

5. General proofreading. Give it a once-over, your tenses slip up every now and then.

Bump the thread when you're done!
avatar
TheMootking
Member
Member

Posts : 61
Points : 43
Join date : 2015-06-28

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jordan Evans

Post by Sora on Wed Aug 26, 2015 3:21 pm

1. I made mention of his hobbies in the Personality section. Does that point just need more elaboration?

2. His parents found and began saving for Tachibana Academy when he was 11; he hasn't begun attending until now. Does this need clarification in the profile or was it just something you missed?

3, 4, and 5 are legitimate points, though.
avatar
Sora
Member
Member

Posts : 89
Points : 75
Join date : 2015-08-12
Age : 18
Location : Wisconsin

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jordan Evans

Post by TheMootking on Wed Aug 26, 2015 9:51 pm

Sorry, I meant more along the lines of writing a little more about his hobbies in the backstory, how he became interested etc. I probably wasn't very clear on that one. I think you've misunderstood what I meant for number two though, I meant in the four years between him finishing homeschooling at 11 and starting at the Academy at 15; there's no mention of his time at a regular school or if he even transitioned into one.
avatar
TheMootking
Member
Member

Posts : 61
Points : 43
Join date : 2015-06-28

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jordan Evans

Post by Sora on Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:57 am

For 1 I basically gave the same activities previously listed in more detail. Let me know if that's not enough.
I clarified number 2. I intended it to be known that he continued being homeschooled after 11; this was just the age at which his parents discovered Tachibana Academy. Said discovery didn't immediately change the routine. I can certainly see how this would be unclear, though.
Explained away point 3 with the points we discussed.
I added a paragraph about number 4, and Jordan's dad is mentioned as an influence in the portion of his personality regarding his activities. As with said activities, let me know if that needs more elaboration.
I couldn't find more than a couple things to fix as requested in point 5, but I tried.
avatar
Sora
Member
Member

Posts : 89
Points : 75
Join date : 2015-08-12
Age : 18
Location : Wisconsin

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jordan Evans

Post by TheMootking on Tue Sep 01, 2015 11:56 am

All the changes look good! Welcome (back) to the forum!
avatar
TheMootking
Member
Member

Posts : 61
Points : 43
Join date : 2015-06-28

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Jordan Evans

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum